| Latest topics | » DISCORD SERVER
 by Memieko Sat Oct 01, 2022 9:23 am
» Too Little Too Late
by Memieko Fri Dec 10, 2021 3:21 am
» Omegle Laughter
by Memieko Fri Dec 10, 2021 3:14 am
» Have another: "Around the Corner" by Macaroni Man
by Mac of All Trades Wed Feb 15, 2017 10:29 am
» Collective Writing
by Mac of All Trades Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:47 pm
» The Continuing Story and Edit the Sentence Combined
by Mac of All Trades Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:33 pm
» For those still remaining.
by Hawk Sun Jan 18, 2015 1:33 am
» I'm the Map I'm the Map I'm the Map I'm the Map
by Mac of All Trades Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:42 am
» Twilight House
by Mac of All Trades Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:34 am
» Philosophical Entries.
by Mac of All Trades Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:30 am
» Pokémon Fusion
by RaichuXPikachu Sat Nov 30, 2013 6:01 pm
» Pokemon Fusion
by RaichuXPikachu Sat Nov 30, 2013 5:57 pm
» Reupload for Riley
by RedHerring Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:50 pm
» Final Fantasy
by Zothen Thu May 16, 2013 10:00 am
» I needz suggestions
by Hawk Mon May 06, 2013 11:00 am
» Mah new fanfiction
by Hawk Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:39 am
» I think you should all know where I went.
by Memieko Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:15 am
» My Goodbye
by Lewa Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:53 pm
» College Esé
by Mac of All Trades Fri Jan 04, 2013 5:20 pm
» 3D Pokemon
by RedHerring Thu Dec 27, 2012 3:41 pm
|
| | | Euph's Creative Attempt |  |
| | | Author | Message |
|---|
Eupharia
The Ninetailed Scot
Squad : Flame SL
Age : 31
Location : Scotland
Posts : 540
Join date : 2010-11-02
|  Subject: Euph's Creative Attempt Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:54 am | |
| Michael posted his story so I thought why not post what I've been working on. Just something for english class, I was given a picture and told to portray an important message within a creative piece so... It will probably come off as deep, depressing and pointless but I'm not usually like that  I got too carried away with it and it just got deeper and darker. Blah, blah. Any comments and opinions are welcomed 
I was working off a picture similar to this:- Spoiler:
662 Words. Work In Progress- Spoiler:
Oasis
Barren. To experience this frosty scene in its splendour is near unattainable. Urban humanity remains oblivious to its subtle beauty. Distant sunlight breaks through the trees, it’s not wanted. The forked branches lay clues, the winter is coming. Shades of brown and amber litter the sidewalk; once lustrous petals of being. They await their white cloth. Time holds no place here; sadly. To become existent only when needed, then only for seconds before forgotten. This tranquil road cries out for company; a car, a jogger, a heat-starved animal. It watches, ready for civilisation. Dormant.
Headlights! Beams of perfect light, excite. The purring rolls closer, a familiar sound but unheard for days. Weeks? It’s here! Quiet... Well, there it goes. I’ll wave to it on the return...If only.
To eventual drivers, it seems, the focus is the destination and not the ride. To stop for just one moment to approve one’s surroundings is bigoted. This place knows no purpose, to exist is sufficient. This place has been discarded as it offers nothing but selfless freedom, is that not enough? This place is an oasis in a world of walls, but like all treasures, one must search and be willing to search. Today’s mind lacks time. Today’s soul lacks will.
Imagine. If society was forced to return to its ancentrous roots, what chaos would erupt. Exultant sorrow? To tread the blades of dying grass; barefooted. No way. They’re far too settled in their replicated ‘houses’. The ferocious adrenaline tap of the hunt; to tactfully bound after another creature with predatory drive. Why? Supermarkets: thoughtless convenience “everything you’ll ever need”. When did we start limiting life?
I remember those days; Eons ago. Loneliness, waiting and boredom knew no meaning. Silence was scarce and true.
What the hell happened?
Revolution. I’d stay here always but then, no. Societal constraints wouldn’t permit. What would they think? We are no longer individuals, we are everyone. If so unfortunate; someone falls in sight of others, pain kneels before embarrassment. Pick yourself up, crimson cheeks roaring.
No, I can’t stay. Too many years have passed; I’ve contracted habits, expectations, rights?
I’m accustomed to the urban walls. Human luxuries. Warmth, shelter and hygiene. Even food has evolved the sands of time, fire may no longer engorge food, but tame it; with unprecedented nurture. The cure is lost to man, let it go.
The world was once one body. Where human and animal co-existed, our reign of the food chain was not so apparent. Dedicated land now rests with subtle purpose: To farm crops, even beings not unlike ourselves. Where is their freedom, their life? What gives us the right to hold these creatures imprisoned. Sure, we designate time to fill troughs. It’s merely an investment. Cold money. Further and further now, we push our fellow inhabitants away, literally driving them from their homes to extend our own walls. The select few species may ‘cherish’ their lives in our homes. It is privilege after all. Would they rather be out there? ‘Of course not’. We don’t own this planet through superseding intelligence. We are truly lucky to step its paths. I’m truly lucky to witness this day, this place; a haven-like ending to a story lived long.
Once again, time forces us apart. I must leave; get back to the ocean of sophistication my peers bestow; will I listen? Thankfully my choice, my one freedom.
Your car rests sleekly among the leaves, don’t forget the pothole behind it. Maintenance seldom befriends country roads. It’s been nice; your company. Will you return?
I’ll return at spring; first morning. Let’s hope you feel better. I’ll expect colour, vibrant, spirited colour. Birds shall return from the south so chin up. Brave the winter, coat the leaves, replenish your branches. Someday my children will visit and admire the space, the sheer liberty from walls. Shall I put on my headlights?
The last pair of headlights for days, weeks? I would appreciate it.
Thanks for waving.
| |
| | | | MicahelN
The Peachy One
Squad : TD Forum Administrator
Age : 31
Location : Pasadena, California
Posts : 1177
Join date : 2010-10-31
| | Subject: Re: Euph's Creative Attempt Fri Apr 08, 2011 1:26 pm | |
| Hey Euph, got a chance to read your piece. I think to start off, this is such a refined piece of literature haha, the quality of the writing is much, much more developed and well written then mine where I focused on a general audience and yours came off as a more collegete style writing (which is great!).
I actually like when you are given a picture or a song or a sentence and you have to work with that to create a story, and I think the picture of the road surrounded by autumn leaves along the road creates a universe of scenarios and to be honest your story was very unqiue, something I haven't read before, nor considered writing. I think what I like the most is how you play with your words, like a sweet melody; it reminds me of Shakespear where he'll use one worded sentences, short chopped up ones, using description and uses a lot of breaks and expression. I don't think too many would at first understand the piece, nor the general idea, but I understood it pretty well (I hope I did). The trees, they're always isolated. They hang by the road watching time and life pass by and the change between nature and humans. Humans change and abandon the simplicity of nature and they are self-absorbed with city life and such... If only we could stop time and enjoy the purity of life and what it offers and maybe the world wouldn't be so hectic. And the isolation of the tree, they can't talk, they only watch, they don't have company nor can move and enjoy the earth but just sit contently along the paven road.
Dark? It's not as deeply depressing as other things, so don't worry about that edge, unless you were looking for that, in which case you could add the tree begging the human to stay instead of accepting they needed to leave.
Anyways, good piece Euph, very well written and I enjoyed it fully and it offered a different writers spin for me. And I hope you don't mind me taking that picture and rolling with it? Haha actually I had something in the works and it sorta corrolates to that picture. But anyways feel free to post more of your writing. | |
| | | | Eupharia
The Ninetailed Scot
Squad : Flame SL
Age : 31
Location : Scotland
Posts : 540
Join date : 2010-11-02
| | Subject: Re: Euph's Creative Attempt Fri Apr 08, 2011 3:14 pm | |
| | |
| | | | Sponsored content
| | Subject: Re: Euph's Creative Attempt | |
| |
| | | | | | Euph's Creative Attempt | |
|
Similar topics | |
|
| | Permissions in this forum: | You cannot reply to topics in this forum
| |
| |
| |
I greatly appreciate the in-depth review and you do understand it, exactly what I was trying to convey. I thought it might just confuse. I didn't mean for it to be depressing at all 